the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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