I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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