Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
