sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just googled if crying burns calories
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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