another moral hangover. fuck.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
