idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
