I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
