When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
