i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
