I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize