I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just forgot I was standing up.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
