So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
