is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
