I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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