I'm going to jail i love you
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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