do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
