Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So much Jack, so little girl.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
