The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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