Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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