yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You took a bar mat shot.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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