No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
