And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
