Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize