her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
