Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What did we do last night that was yellow?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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