OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
