you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
