Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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