HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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