the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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