Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
