I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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