Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize