lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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