Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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