i used baking grease as lip gloss
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Randomize
