After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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