Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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