make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
