remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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