we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
