I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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