mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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