He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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