i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize