bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
