I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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