so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
