Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
