dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
