I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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