It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
