So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
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