she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
