I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
