New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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