i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Randomize
