i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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