Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
