nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
