I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
